This story about a woman farting during yoga is hilarious
You can try and deny it but we know you’ve farted at least once during yoga class. Most of the time you can try to suppress it so that it’s super silent and masked with a little cough, but there are those other times where it lets rip so loud that there’s no hiding it.
The latter happened to a blogger named Laura Mazza who decided to share the story in all its cringeworthy detail on Facebook last week.
The post has naturally gone viral and clocking up more than 25,000 shares for its hilarious honesty.
She opens her story by saying that her physio suggested yoga as a way to help her muscle separation after having kids.
“We got into the class and it was dark and there’s candles everywhere. (Just a slight fire risk you guys), I’m thinking, holy shit this is real yoga, not like 5, 6, 7, 8 and stretccchh… this is ‘I’m going to go to a high place of enlightenment’ right here,” she writes.
Unfortunately, she’s caught by the instructor.
“Then ashram yoga guru says loudly ‘oh we have a new member tonight. We are blessed with the company of….??’
“And then I replied with… ‘Oh yes. And I am blessed with your company’ I don’t know why I said that, probably because I’m a social idiot.
“And she said ‘oh sorry I was after your name.’
She gets into the rhythm…
“We started doing these random positions, moving into the upward facing dog and I feel a nice crack in my back, thinking I can do this…I totally love yoga. I am a yoga girl!! Look at me so fit right now.”
And then it all starts going, er, downhill.
“We move into the downward facing dog… and that’s when I started to feel my guts. Now for the past few weeks I have had IBS symptoms like something crazy. My farts stink like something mixed between a rotten egg and an incineration plant.
“And somewhere between the dolphin position and the three legged dog two of those burning garbage eggs slip out and I fart.
I farted. I farted at yoga. I’m a walking cliche. My pelvic floor has failed me.”
But it gets worse.
“She comes over… pushes my back down…
“The loudest trumpet comes out of my ass.
“I froze and thought oh my god. Oh my god.
“OH MY GOD. Sweet baby Jesus. What just happened. I’m dreaming. Surely. I’m in a nightmare.”
Naturally, she gets the heck outta there.
“And I think nah I’m a go, and I run out the door and now I’m sitting at McDonald’s eating a sundae crying and laughing.
“Sorry physio. I’m never ever ever EVER, doing yoga again. F*ck the muscle separation.”
You deserved that sundae, Laura. You can read the full story here.